No Wonder I'm Single

by Whitney Galaher

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released January 2, 2013



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Whitney Galaher New York

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Track Name: Sexually Inquisitive Mermaids
When I told myself
I'd find someone
We'd have lots of sex
We'd have so much fun
But all my sexual thoughts were thrown in the bin
Cause I have a fin

I see those humans
Moving all around
They scream, they cry, they make lots of sound
And I wonder where that thing would go in
Since I have a fin

Well let's
Figure out this mess
I know
That I have got a hole

Sure I've got a nice pair
They're covered by clams
And it's just not fair
These should be your hands
And I hate to say it
But I might be dry
If you're not inside (the ocean, you dumb-ass)

But then I learned this new thing
That I can do with my mouth
And no it's not that I can sing
Just tilt your head south
We can't make a baby
But you'll enjoy it, maybe
Track Name: New Fuck
It's been a long ass year,
Since I've arrived here
And I've shed my tears
Still have some fears
Let's all just hear
Those fucking cheers
For the new year

I still hate that I have to
Make some goals to feel brand new
You know what,
Fuck this shit

It's still technically the year where I
Do my thing and don't ask why
My last moment
To completely pig out
My last moment to


I guess that's enough for you
Track Name: No Wonder I'm Single
You know how the say
Don't kiss and tell
But what if this guy
Treated me like hell
This is my confession to my ex
You were really bad at sex
Yeah, I just went there

And what if this guy
Had broke my heart
Said I was too good for him
From the start
Well here's my confession
You only lack some passion

Well, no wonder I am single

What if this guy
Was just too nice
I was his queen
But that never felt right
Yeah, here's my confession boy
You're dick is like a happy meal toy
It's small

And what if I
Never get this guy
End up throwing another man
Right up inside
That will be my biggest mistake
So boy why won't you take
Me now
Track Name: Pretty Sure You're Gay
So I think I kinda like you
Cause you remind me of a few
Guys I've dated in the past
You even have his name too
And I'm not sure if I like that
So I'll call you something different
And even if it's weird, at least you're not fat
Or else I'd tell you to get bent

But there something I can't put my finger on
But I sure can tell that there is something wrong
And this is what I see
You like butts more than me
So I'm pretty sure you're gay

I've dated a couple bisexuals
I understand that guys are freakin' hot
I'd even be ok with metrosexuals
But you claim that you're not
Maybe I'm just not femimine
But you make me feel like a man
If we have sex, and you turn on me
I guess I'll move to my next plan
Track Name: Crawl
Did he break up with you
To just be your good friend
When the real truth
Was that it had reached it's end
About two months ago
Because you were a bitch
But you just figured out
That it was never really you
All the screams and the shouts
Were hiding the truth
Cause all along
He was fucking a bitch

Stab him in the penis
Stab him in the dick
Stab him in the balls
Cause he was a prick
We're gonna stab till he falls
We'll make sure that he can't stand up
He will crawl