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No Wonder I'm Single

by Whitney Galaher

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1.
When I told myself I'd find someone We'd have lots of sex We'd have so much fun But all my sexual thoughts were thrown in the bin Cause I have a fin I see those humans Moving all around They scream, they cry, they make lots of sound And I wonder where that thing would go in Since I have a fin Well let's Figure out this mess I know That I have got a hole SOMEWHERE Sure I've got a nice pair They're covered by clams And it's just not fair These should be your hands And I hate to say it But I might be dry If you're not inside (the ocean, you dumb-ass) But then I learned this new thing That I can do with my mouth And no it's not that I can sing Just tilt your head south We can't make a baby But you'll enjoy it, maybe
2.
New Fuck 00:58
It's been a long ass year, Since I've arrived here And I've shed my tears Still have some fears Let's all just hear Those fucking cheers For the new year I still hate that I have to Make some goals to feel brand new You know what, Fuck this shit It's still technically the year where I Do my thing and don't ask why My last moment To completely pig out My last moment to Shout BITCH, FUCK, CUNT, SHIT, PUSSY, COCK, DICK, PISS, ASS, I guess that's enough for you
3.
You know how the say Don't kiss and tell But what if this guy Treated me like hell This is my confession to my ex You were really bad at sex Yeah, I just went there And what if this guy Had broke my heart Said I was too good for him From the start Well here's my confession You only lack some passion Well, no wonder I am single What if this guy Was just too nice I was his queen But that never felt right Yeah, here's my confession boy You're dick is like a happy meal toy It's small And what if I Never get this guy End up throwing another man Right up inside That will be my biggest mistake So boy why won't you take Me now
4.
So I think I kinda like you Cause you remind me of a few Guys I've dated in the past You even have his name too And I'm not sure if I like that So I'll call you something different And even if it's weird, at least you're not fat Or else I'd tell you to get bent But there something I can't put my finger on But I sure can tell that there is something wrong And this is what I see You like butts more than me So I'm pretty sure you're gay I've dated a couple bisexuals I understand that guys are freakin' hot I'd even be ok with metrosexuals But you claim that you're not Maybe I'm just not femimine But you make me feel like a man If we have sex, and you turn on me I guess I'll move to my next plan
5.
Crawl 01:19
Did he break up with you To just be your good friend When the real truth Was that it had reached it's end About two months ago Because you were a bitch But you just figured out That it was never really you All the screams and the shouts Were hiding the truth Cause all along He was fucking a bitch Stab him in the penis Stab him in the dick Stab him in the balls Cause he was a prick We're gonna stab till he falls We'll make sure that he can't stand up He will crawl

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released January 2, 2013

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Whitney Galaher New York

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